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Broken Heart
101
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Broken Heart 101
Dealing with Emotional Pain
Robert Elias Najemy
(Hurt - Bitterness - Injustice - Abused Pain)
We feel emotional pain when we do not get what
we want, need, or expect. We might feel hurt, rejection, bitterness, abuse,
injustice or simply emotional pain.
In such cases, we have not received the behavior
or outcomes we expected or believed we deserved.
We feel this kind of feel pain in cases when * people * do not behave to
us in the ways that we had expected as well as in situations where * life
* does not give us what we feel we need or deserve.
We believe, "I cannot feel happy unless I get that which I believe I need."
We have associated our security, satisfaction, self-worth or freedom with
something that we are not getting from persons, society, God, or life as
a whole.
Some examples might be when:
1. Others lie to or deceive us.
2. They do not support us when we need them.
3. They reject or criticize us.
4. We fail at some task, which we feel that we should have succeeded at.
5. We loose a loved one.
6. Our loved one shows preference to another.
7. People important to us do not show us the respect we expect.
8. Others do harm to us or our loved ones.
9. We are accused of doing or saying something we did not do.
10. When are falsely suspected of having ulterior motives.
11. "Friends" gossip about us behind our backs.
12. We are not given the raise of promotion we believe we deserve at work.
13. Others do not keep their agreements with us.
14. We are robbed.
15. We lose our fortune in some way.
You can add many more situations in which we feel hurt because we have not
received the respect, love, affection, loyalty, truth, kindness and justice
that we were expecting.
*** Positive Alternatives to Feeling Hurt ***
Positive alternatives to feeling hurt, bitterness
and injustice could be:
1. * We can have Faith * in divine wisdom and justice.
We are all in a process of evolution and nothing
can happen to us, which is not exactly what we need in order to learn our
next lesson. So rather than be overwhelmed by negative feelings, we can seek
to discover what we can learn through this experience.
Our lessons usually have to do with discovering the strength, security and
self-worth, which are within us. As souls in the process of evolution, we
are constantly being directed to contact and bring to the surface our spiritual
self.
This means realizing that we are whole within and can feel safe, worthy and
fulfilled regardless of what is happening around us.
Thus, every event which might cause us to feel pain is also a great opportunity
to contact our inner spiritual self and move on and beyond this pain.
2. We are the sole creators of our reality.
We as souls create our reality through:
a. Our past choices, thoughts, words and actions.
b. Our present conscious and subconscious beliefs, feelings and needs.
c. The lessons we have chosen to learn at this stage of our evolutionary
process.
d. How we subjectively interpret what is happening.
Thus others are simply actors in the scenarios of our life the script of
which we have written. We can create a happier reality by:
a. Transforming our conscious and subconscious beliefs.
b. Learning our life lessons.
c. Interpreting events in a different way as opportunities for growth
rather than as injustices.
3. Forgiving and forgetting the past.
In light of what we have said above, others are
not responsible for our reality and thus can easily be forgive. Such forgiveness
frees us from negative feelings and allows us to transcend pain.
Thus we can overcome emotional pain by:
1. Realizing that every event is exactly what we need for our evolutionary
process.
2. Learn the lessons involved.
3. Forgive others and ourselves.
Be Well
(Robert Elias Najemy's recently
released book "The Psychology of Happiness" (ISBN 0-9710116-0-5) is available
at
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/holisticharmo-20
and
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html
.
His writings can be viewed at
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com
where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.)
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