|
Broken Heart
101
dealing with a broken heart
broken heart surveys & polls
broken heart poem
broken heart quote
broken heart advice
breakuping up with a narcissist
get over a broken heart
share your
breakup
Win
Boyfriend
Back
How
to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back
- By using these basic, down-to-earth
strategies, anyone can get an ex-boyfriend back and turn a broken relationship
back into a loving, lasting one - or make their current relationships deeper
and more
fulfilling.
THE ZODIAC MAN!
Because not all men are alike, the
plan to win them back shouldn't be
the same,
either!
Broken Heart
Help
My
Breakup Space
My Breakup Blog
My Big Breakup
Breakups Magazine
Gay/Lesbian Advice
Date a
Millionaire
Get Your Boyfriend Back
Win Your Girl Back
Broken
Heart Links
Cunnilingus
Academy
Curl her toes with these tips and techniques!
commitmentphobia
why women cheat
stop his commitmentphobia
perfect
love letters
|
|
Broken Heart 101
Romantic Rejection
Dealing with It
Robert Elias Najemy
One of our most devastating emotional experiences
is the loss of a loved one.
I am addressing the loss of loved one to death and through "romantic rejection"
as two separate situations. We will deal with the loss of a loved one to
death in another article
The power which we give to our love partner to determine to such a large
degree our security, happiness and self-worth is largely the result of our
childhood experiences and especially unfinished business with our parents.
Thus we might need to also work on healing childhood experiences.
Affirmations
for overcoming Romantic Rejection
Here is a list of some of the
emotions we might feel when someone leaves us. Below each emotion we present
some possible affirmations for getting free. These lists as always are there
to guide you and never to limit you. There are many other possibilities.
1. Rejection (demeaned,
worthless) because he/she does not
want to be with me.
Even though until now I felt rejected (demeaned, worthless) because (name
of person)____ left me, I now feel (realize, experience) my self-worth as
a unique being without him/her.
2. Fear of continuing
life without this person.
Even though until now I feared continuing life alone without (name of person)____
, I now feel (realize, experience) self-confidence and powerfully capable
of dealing with life.
3. Fear (shame) of what others
will
think
about me now that he/she has left.
Even though until now I feared what others would think because (name of
person)____ left me , I now feel (realize, experience) my self-worth as a
unique being, regardless of what they think.
4. Fear that I will not find anyone
else to share my life with.
Even though until now, I feared I would not find anyone else to share my
life with, I now am confident that I deserve and will attract the perfect
being for me.
5. Hurt (pain, unhappiness,
loneliness) of not having this person
to hold, share, make love to, communicate with, etc.
Even though until now I felt I hurt (pain, unhappiness, loneliness) because
I do not have (name of person)____ to hold (share, make love to communicate
with etc. ? be specific), I now experience the fullness of my being and of
my life and lovingly connect with those around me.
6. Injustice (bitterness, resentment,
betrayal) that he/she is unjustly
harming, betraying, hurting us in this way.
Even though until now I felt Injustice (bitterness, resentment, betrayal)
because (name of person)____ has behaved unjustly, I now have faith in the
wisdom of what life gives me for my growth process.
7. Guilt
(self-rejection) because I feel that
I am to blame for his/her leaving.
Even though until now I felt guilt (self-rejection) because (name of person)____
left me, I now forgive and love myself, realizing that I have done and will
do my best.
8.
Jealousy if (because) he/she is with
someone else
Even though until now I felt jealous because (name of person)____ is with
someone else, I now feel the fullness of my being trust that life gives me
exactly what I need for my growth process (self-actualization).
9. Anger (hate,
revenge) because he/she has caused
now so much pain.
Even though until now I felt anger (hate, revenge) because (name of person)____
left me (is with someone else), I now realize that I am perfectly capable
of being happy and fulfilled without him/her.
10.
Depression (disillusionment,
discouragement) that I cannot have what I want and cannot do anything about
it.
Even though until now I felt depressed (disillusioned, discouraged) because
I could not be with (name of person)____ , I now realize (feel, experience)
that I have the power to create the life I want.
It should not take long to work through all of the above. The pain which
often takes months, and for some people, years, can be removed in a week
or less. We help no one by feeling all these emotions.
Better to get on with our lives.
Below are some thoughts about what we can gain from such a situation.
LEARNING FROM
A RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
A divorce, separation or, in general, any loss
of an important relationship is a painful experience. . Such pain can seriously
diminish our peace and happiness. We can, however, use this inner discomfort
for our spiritual benefit. If we are thinking of separating, there are many
lessons we need to examine before we can come to the conclusion that we must
separate from someone. But if the other leaves us or this separation has
already happened, we might be able to benefit from the following.
1. Our first lesson is to examine our
behavior to see how we might have
contributed to the problem. Only in this way can we create a new healthy
relationship if we chose to.
In relation to this we might want to examine the following:
a.
We may have been
criticizing, complaining,
rejecting or otherwise causing the
other to feel unaccepted.
b.
We may have been
seeking continual
affirmation in ways that may have
been tiring for the other.
c.
Our fears may have been causing us
to be over
sensitive and annoying.
d.
Perhaps we were
playing games of
power, who is right or who is more
successful.
e.
We might have been
playing roles
such as the child, the parent, the
savior, the holy one, the rebel, the teacher or some other role which may
have affected the other?s behavior.
f.
We may have
guilt
feelings that were making us vulnerable
to the other?s words or behaviors.
g.
Perhaps we were
not
communicating our needs clearly and
effectively as an adult and were suppressing ourselves or complaining,
criticizing or threatening.
h.
We might have been
projecting onto the
other our childhood or other
experiences.
i.
The other might have been reflecting
back to us our lack of self-esteem
or self-respect.
j. We may have
attachments
that were coming between us.
k.
We may have
inner
conflicts, which were reflecting back
to us from the other.
2.
We may need to
learn to
love the other in spite of his or
her behavior, regardless of whether we stay with that person or not.
3.
We can discover that we can live without
this person and that happiness, security
and love are internal states that are always within us, if only we allow
ourselves to experience them.
4.
We can use this opportunity to
develop greater inner
strength so as to feel confident and
able to face whatever may come to us in the game of life.
5.
Most of us will need to change our
self-image. We need now to learn to
accept, love and respect ourselves more, so that we do not create the same
problem in our next relationship or in life in general.
6.
By directing our energies in a spiritual direction and developing a
relationship with
God - the Universal Being, we are
no longer so vulnerable or so dependent on others for our feelings of security
and self-worth.
7.
We may also need to learn that the other?s decision to
leave may not be a rejection at
all. He or she may love and respect
us dearly but be forced by other needs to seek happiness elsewhere.
Our lessons might be separated into
five categories:
1. We might need to learn to
communicate more effectively, assertively
and lovingly.
2. Perhaps we need to
let go of some
attachments, which are increasing
our conflicts with others and diminishing our happiness.
3. Examine our
behaviors that might be annoying the
other.
4. Free ourselves from subconscious
programmings, which limit our self-esteem
and ability to attract the behaviors that we deserve.
5. Develop inner feelings of
security, self worth and freedom.
Once our happiness, security and love have become internalized, we can experience
unconditional love.
Although we need to make every possible step to heal our relationships, if
and when a relationship breaks down, there is still much we can learn.
If we care for our bodies and minds,
they will care for us.
Be Well
(Robert Elias Najemy's recently
released book "The Psychology of Happiness" (ISBN 0-9710116-0-5) is available
at
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/holisticharmo-20
and
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html
.
His writings can be viewed at
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com
where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.)
|
|
or join the community
and get these books FREE!
What Makes You
Irresistible?
Marriage Proposal
Ideas
Red Hot Love
Relationships
The Ultimate Womans Guide
To Dating
The Muscly Jerks Guide.
Muscle Building Program To Attract Women
OUR
MEMBERS' BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS
|
