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Broken Heart 101

Below is a copy of a post that was posted by "A" on February 26, 2003 on the CommitmentPhobia Board
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Hi, all. This is my first post here. I dated a CP for more than 1 1/2 years, and realized something was not right after about six months. My story is about the same as everyone else's. We met, he adored me, spent every spare moment at my side, told me I was "the one," bragged to his friends, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And just as we were reaching that point where a relationship begins to take on depth and meaning, everything started to crumble.

*When we met, he was thrilled to meet my two children.
*After eight months, they made him "nervous."

*When we met, he stopped taking on extra work to spend time with me.
*After eight months, he had no time for me because he was neglecting his side work.

* When we met, he introduced me to his friends.
*After eight months, he had no time for me because he didn't want to neglect his friends.

* When we met, he invited me to all of his social functions.
*After eight months, he had no time for me because he needed to attend his social functions.

*When he met, he drove 30 miles to retrieve a picture I had left in a restaurant.
*After eight months, he didn't want to drive two miles to pick up my son from school because I was going to be 1000 miles away at my grandfather's funeral.

*When we met, he went out of his way to make me feel special.
*After eight months, he didn't give a damn if I was alive.

Yet, despite all this, I hung on for another 10 months. Gee, I though, maybe he's right -- maybe the stress from his job, his mother, his truck, his friends, his jobs, his hypochonria, etc. etc. etc. made him change so drastically. Perhaps, if I try to help him, he would feel less pressure and things would return to how they had been at the beginning.

WRONG! If I helped him finish one project, he produced two new projects. If I stayed home on Friday night so he could spend time with his friends, he would tell me that he needed to have Saturday free, as well.

And cheap! What a tightwad! He even complained about our occasional dinners, because it was costing him "$200 a weekend just to hang out with some girl." Of course, this is the same man who bought himself two electric guitars the week before Christmas. My gift? a $5 pair of earrings and a Walmart gas grill. Real romantic.

And there was the Valentine's Day he gave me a $5 bouquet from the grocery store, then there was our first anniversary where he gave me nothing.

But my experience is a little different. After dumping this loser in November, I didn't miss him one bit. I hate this man. This man is a deceiver. This man is a liar. This man is a con artist. He is an actor. He is a shell of a human being. In fact, I take great pleasure in knowing that he will spend the rest of his life alone in a little house that his mother pained pink. He belongs there. And I hope he stays there. And I hope that he never dates again -- not because it would hurt ME, but because the poor woman who wastes any time with this man will pay for it in the end.

And while I may never understand fully the reasons behind this man's fatal flaws, I understand that it is not my job to fix it. And it is not my failing that he won't.

I consider myself lucky. I discovered Steven Carter's books about midway through this crisis, and I was able to look at this man objectively and see that, rather than the loving man he pretended to be, he was, in reality, only going through the motions. He knows what love looks like. But he doesn't know what it is.

But I do. And after leaving him I chose to move on, and I have. I have also changed the way in which I measure the success of a relationship. And if that relationship doesn't measure up to my standards, I would let it go.

These people don't deserve our love. They don't deserve our time. And we don't deserve the suffering they try to bring into their lives.

Posted by "A"

The information in Dream Chasers, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru, discusses mistakes we tend to make when handling our CPs, the attraction of the CP, and CP Addiction. It comes with the CP-Anon Message Board where you can get encouragement and support from other CP-Anon members.

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